Last night I left straight from work and met my parents over at Planet Hollywod to play in the 7 p.m. tourney. I'm not a big fan of bad beat stories, so I'll just say that it was fun when I was winning, I accumulated a good amount of chips and then when the blinds got really high, I took two crushing beats and I was out. My mom even outlasted me. That sucked. At least I got home early enough to play a freeroll, and watch next week's The Wire on HBO with Don. We are addicted to that show and this is the last season. The cool thing is that you can always watch a week ahead if you watch In Demand. So, we saw next week's episode last night. Good times.
I've been in a funk as of late. I know the signs of depression and I have them all. Tired all the time, don't want to get out of bed, don't want to do anything once I'm out of bed, being misrable at work, not looking forward to anything, it sucks! I hate this feeling.
I was riding such a high over the holidays when I went to Florida and then I got my one year thing and that was super awesome and then we had the N.A. convention and that was fun and now my high has dropped to a super low.
I know it'll pass, so I'm not going to freak out too much about it. The important thing is to FORCE myself to get out of bed and not give in to what my head is telling me. My head wants me to stay miserable, not ever get out of bed, and tear down all of the stuff I've accomplished in this past year. My head tells me I can call out of work, I don't need to write any articles this week, I don't need to go to those silly meetings, I'm okay, I deserve to just take it easy, but If I start giving into those thoughts, one day turns into a week, which turns into a month, I lose my job, I'm not writing poker articles anymore and I end up loaded again.
This too shall pass.
This Sunday night I am speaking at Westcare. It's a Rehab for women and it's sort of like doing charity work I guess. That kind of stuff always makes a person feel really good about themselves. It should be just the thing I need to remind me what a good life I have and how far I've come from where I used to be. Just seeing those women suffering in rehab, trying to detox from the drugs, most of them homeless, most of them lost their families, pretty much all of them jobless and pennyless - this was all a part of my story and today it isn't my reality.
So, thanks for letting me vent.